F1

No AI can do what Brad Pitt does so effortlessly, or thoughtlessly
dir: Joseph Kosinski
2025
The fuck did I just watch?
People are lamenting the coming onslaught of AI generated movies, and I have to say, faithful readers, it’s way, way too late. It’s not too late because the technology is coming; all that shit is already here. But it’s way too late because humans are just that lazy. They’re lazy enough to try to generate this crap, and we’re so lazy we’ll just swallow the slop because the alternative is too hard.
You may be able to prove to me that there are humans in this flick. There are some lovely humans in this flick. Kerry Condon is one of them. Kerry Condon, who probably earned more from this flick than she’s ever made in her entire career up to this point, is not only definitely human but she’s also a wonderful actor to behold and to listen to. She doesn’t do a thing to hide her strong Irish accent, and while that’s something AI can mimic, it can’t imitate her obvious humanity.
But she is tasked with lines of dialogue no human could ever have written, and she has to act against computer generated special effects like Brad Pitt, who has rarely if ever made for a convincing human being.
And Javier Bardem. He’s human. Irrepressibly human. He’s so human that he even convinces you he can see Brad Pitt when he’s standing in front of him (we know it’s a special effect / hologram, surely?) and that he even interacts with him. He cannot but give his all, whether it’s in this or any other flick or tv series. Speaking of series, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Javier Bardem is in this AND in the Apple TV series Cape Fear playing Yosemite Sam, sorry, I mean Max Cady, the role made famous by DeNiro and Mitchum, both Roberts, before him.
What I’m getting at, since Apple ponied up the cash for this hollow holographic monstrosity, they clearly have something on Bardem. If it’s a contract, I feel like it’s maybe made of human skin and maybe is signed in blood or something?
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