dir J. J. Perry
This is a pretty dumb film. I still enjoyed it, despite its mediocrity, and in between sighing a few hundred times.
Cobbled together as it is from every vampire movie ever made, almost nothing about it, the performances or the action really stands out that much. And there is almost no novelty to the premise of an LA based war against the undead in which a union, an actual union of vampire hunters labours to save the mindless human denizens of that great city by exterminating these pests who exist in plague proportions who would otherwise prey on them.
If there’s almost something amusing about the premise, it’s that a vampire queen who’s secretly a real estate mogul (which is far worse) is plotting to gentrify the San Fernando Valley in such a way that it’s safe, owned and populated entirely by vampires, and not so much by all those filthy humans.
In this Netflix Exclusive movie, so exclusive and so Netflixy that I cannot imagine a single person subscribing to the service because of it, but maybe a few leaving in spite of it, Jamie Foxx stars as Bud Jablonski, an independent contractor who kills vampires for money. Their fangs are valuable, but only if they’re in good condition, and are over a certain age.
But wait: Bud is down on his luck, having been kicked out of the Union, trying to make ends meet, and trying to convince his daughter and his ex-wife that he’s not a total loser.
Sound familiar? Does it sound like a thousand other films? What if I was to tell you that what it sounds like is exactly what it is, and it plays out exactly as you think it will. The only question remains as to whether it’s enjoyable along the way, if you can stay awake that long.