Horror

dir: Julius Avery

2023

You can completely not believe in something, and know that it’s highly refined bullshit, and still find it terrifying.

Having been brought up in the Christian faith, and educated at Catholic schools, there are no elements of these stories that are unfamiliar. And I long ago recoiled in horror from the actual, incalculable evils perpetrated and covered up by the Catholic Church, and dismissed the mythological bullshit elements, seeing how the whole edifice was propped up with fear and control, covering hollow lies all the way down.

And yet… Sure, okay, I know this is all hysterical supernatural bullshit, fantasy stuff no more real than anything in the Lord of the Rings movies or Star Wars…

And yet… I can still find this stuff terrifying. The Exorcist still remains one of the most terrifying films I’ve ever seen, and that’s unlikely to ever, ever change. All I have to do is remember certain sequences and I get cold chills.

There was a scene in a recent, quite stupid movie called Ghosted where the two main characters have a conversation at a set of steps, and Chris Evans’ terrible character tells Ana De Armas “These are the steps from The Exorcist!”, and she’s like “okay grandpa””, but I was like “oh shit those are the cursed steps from The Exorcist?”

I don’t believe in ghosts and demons and such, but there is something about the idea of demonic possession that I find deeply, deeply disturbing. And again, though I don’t for a second believe in possession or exorcisms or any of that fucking bullshit, and also, not all flicks about demonic possession are created equally; when they work I am horrified beyond belief.

Most of the stuff I saw in terms of reviews about this flick dismissed it for a bunch of reasons – demonic possession stories are dumb, or the flicks not horrifying enough, or it’s not camp enough, or it’s too funny, or it’s not comical enough, or Russell Crowe is terrible with a risible accent, or Crowe is really good but slumming in a role that is beneath him.

Those are all takes. They’re wrong, but people are entitled to their takes.

dir: Kyle Edward Ball

2022

What is this movie? What even is a movie, anyway?

If a person was to watch this movie, they could honestly say “welp, I watched something, not entirely sure what it was, but I watched it.” It is generally safe to say that most people would never have seen anything like it before, and hopefully never again. Not voluntarily, I don’t think. Not without a gun pointed at your head.

Skinamarink is some kind of horror movie, but not the kind of horror movie where anything happens or your capacity for absorbing scares or gore is rewarded. The only criterion for watching this flick is patience. The only way to get through the whole flick is even more patience.

The first time I tried to watch this flick, it knocked me the fuck out within 10 minutes. The film is about 100 minutes long. It is mostly long takes of indistinct walls or ceilings, floors or toys, occasionally a tv screen. It is filmed on what looks like degraded video tape, but there is also a filter which makes it also look like degraded film stock (with fake dust and scratches), giving you the feeling that you’re watching something that is a copy of a copy of a copy, and maybe you shouldn’t be watching, or even be able to watch it at all.

There are rarely any people onscreen, and when they are, you never see them clearly. You often see feet, or legs, but they’re not usually doing much of anything. There are no creatures, or monsters, or hideous creatures like Pauline Hansons / Marjorie Taylor Greenes ever appearing on screen to terrorise anyone, least of all the children.

The children… there is a boy and a girl, I’m sure they have names but it hardly matters. These kids are in a house in the middle of the night, and their parents don’t seem to be around. There is a television playing old cartoons from so long ago that they’re out of copyright, and so it costs nothing to have them. If there is any sound or music in the flick that isn’t the kids whispering, it’s from these cartoons. There is no soundtrack or score, so all sounds and music are in the scenes themselves (diegetic sound versus non-diegetic sound).

dir: Mariama Diallo

2022

Master is the kind of horror flick that’s not really a horror flick. It feels like someone had what they felt was a trenchant or powerful story to tell, and then someone with money / power said to them “what if you made it into a horror flick / maybe turn it into a trilogy?”

That’s not entirely fair. The horror is there in the story, because something horrible happens to someone, but if this was an episode of Scooby Doo, the captured and tied-up villain at the end, when their mask is pulled off, would be “white supremacy”.

And they would have gotten away with it… wait, they did get away with it, every time.

But there is no mask pulling off ceremony at the end. There’s just certain people realising there’s nothing they can do in the face of overwhelming, insurmountable evil.

The title comes from the fact that one of the main characters is appointed the “master” of a halls of residence at an old university called Ancaster. The university is as old as America, we are told, and everything implies that this place is built on the bones of slavery, despite being in a state that isn’t renowned for its racism, in some mythical place called New England. I was sure that it had to be somewhere like Pennsylvania, but other reviews refer to rural Massachusetts or even that it’s meant to be an equivalent to Yale in Connecticut, where the director herself studied.

Almost all of the faculty and the student body are white. Almost suspiciously, predominately white. So the “master” being appointed, being African-American (Regina Hall), is either ironic or part of the overall project of whitewashing / blackwashing(?) the university’s legacy and paying lip service to current notions of diversity and inclusiveness.

Jasmine (Zoe Renee), from her very first orientation day, is pretty much doomed. Within seconds of appearing on campus she’s pretty much told she’s staying in a cursed room and that she’s going to die because some witch was hung centuries ago and then the first African-American woman to go Ancaster hung herself in the 60s.

dir: Nikyatu Jusu

2022

Nanny comes at a time where it seems to be “of the moment”, or to put it most horribly, it’s very zeitgeist-y. There have been a string of recent novels about immigrant women working as nannies or au pairs and wanting to murder their precious charges (most notably Leïla Slimani’s Lullaby), but this is the most recent I can think of that shoots for (eventually) straight horror, supernatural or otherwise.

It doesn’t really work, at all, but I still enjoyed watching it. Primarily, it’s a visually strong film, and it stars the luminous Anna Diop, who’s mostly worked in television and is best known, at least by me, for playing Starfire in the Titans series. She’s great, here and elsewhere, but…

I think this film knows what it’s trying to say – the immigrant experience, documented or otherwise, compels many women to leave their families or their kids behind, travel to other countries where they sometimes have to look after the kids of wealthy shitheads. This causes a certain amount of tension. You end up lavishing all the love and care that you have in you, onto someone else’s kid, in order to get the money to send back to the people looking after your kid.

But for some strange reason despite being wealthy these rich fuckers never pay on time. And they make insane demands all the time. And the husband tries to fuck you. And the drunken wife resents you because the kid likes you more, and they feel guilty because they’re away from home working or travelling…

This is rich ground psychologically to plant a lot of dramatic seeds from which could spring the stuff of social commentary and / or nightmares. The flick wants to have its cake and eat it too, and I don’t think it earns that paradox at all. At all. Especially because it goes down a certain track that seems unforgivable when the big “reveal” happens at the end.

Aisha (Anna Diop) is in the States in an undocumented manner, meaning that she can’t work officially, and needs to get by with cash in hand jobs. A (white) family with their one precious Rose (Rose Decker) have all sorts of expectations of Aisha. It’s almost like there’s the feeling of entitlement to her time and presence, because she should be so grateful.

There’s oh so many micro-aggressions, but that’s okay, that’s what we’d expect. All of the nannies seem to be from “other” backgrounds, and they are all at the mercy of employees who see them as the exploitable resource that they are.

Aisha sends money back to Senegal, where her son Lamine is. She facetimes him as often as she can, but that can only go so far. I can’t really see that she has any plan beyond earning as much as she can to send back to Senegal in order to allow for her friend to send her son to her in the States. I’m not sure why this is the plan, but this is the plan.

Her employers are as awful as you imagine they would be. The mum (Michelle Monaghan) of course is a nervy tyrant, who somehow appreciates what Aisha can bring to the table for her daughter (being bilingual, she can teach English and French to Rose), but simultaneously resent the fact that this woman gets to spend way more time with her daughter than she does.

And she’s a workaholic / alcoholic whose photojournalist husband (Morgan Spector) fucks everyone he comes into contact with, except presumably his wife. At least he pays Aisha on time, eh? As well as going in for a kiss when the opportunity presents itself.

Bleh. Boo. I boo what you're doing.