Oceans
They really don't have to be that smug about themselves.
Fucking oceans...
dirs: Jacques Perrin, Jacques Cluzaud
2010
Oceans. They’re everywhere! And, did you know that they’re full of water?
Very watery waters, apparently. And mostly the water is blue. Sometimes green, sometimes grey, sometimes a mixture of greeny-bluey-grey, but always very watery.
We owe a lot to the oceans. They feed us, naturally, and they’re also where we dump all our sewerage and garbage, as the gods intended, and they also willingly have become the final resting place for murderous / saintly Osamas who’ve outlived their usefulness, but they’re also really pretty. And they’re also chock full of thoroughly beautiful creatures like dugongs, walruses, stonefish and moray eels.
Who could not love the Oceans? They’re practically the puppies/kittens of the solar system. Only a completely dead-inside monster, that’s who. Or the captain of the Titanic, I guess. Or anyone who’s lost a loved one to the Ocean’s watery embrace, I guess as well.
This astounding documentary which has taken its time to get here, and is playing at Cinema Nova (in Melbourne as at 22/5/2011) acts as if people don’t know what oceans are (as opposed to seas, which everyone knows are the oceans’ poor orphan cousins), or that there are fish in them. There’s actually a line of narration that says the following:
“So instead of asking, ‘What, exactly, is the ocean?’, maybe we should be asking, ‘Who, exactly, are we?’”
Should we? Should we really? Because I was under the obviously mistaken impression that pretty much anyone with eyes knows what goddamn oceans are: They’re those huge blue things you see on globes and maps, or which people occasionally fly over in their planes or autogyros or zeppelins, depending on their finances.
Maybe there are people blind from birth who might have difficulty comprehending just what oceans are visually, but they can at least understand them conceptually. Even the dumbest person these documentary makers and narration writers have ever met in their whole stinking lives knows what a goddamn ocean is.
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